Levy a fine of $5-10K on illegal immigrants who come forward and preclude deportation on grounds of illegal immigration. Encourage sponsorship of their fine by communities, employers, private benefactors, NGOs, etc. Sell this as a "free market" means of the public deciding who to bring into the country rather than the (broken) government visa/immigration mechanism in place.

If McSame was a Democrat there would be no doubt that Karl Rove would exploit his age at every chance as a continuing narrative saying he was too old, forgetful, and irratic to be trusted.
Example: Perhaps McSame has flip flopped on tax cuts because he can't remember his last position on it? Perhaps McSame gets Shiite and Sunni confused because of his forgetfulness?

Because a disaster can hit anyone, anywhere in the US, I suggest having a place on our tax forms where taxpayers can contibute $25 towards a disaster relief fund. If you contibute, and experience a disaster, you will receive immediate financial aid from the fund